I often get stuck on one thing that is happening in my life and let it worry me to no end. I obsess about it and let it consume a lot of my time and energy...and mostly I just worry with no real action or final resolution. Many times, my worry is over something trivial, but to me, it seems like the most important thing in the world. B often reminds me how lucky we are, and tells me that I need to give my life over to the Lord and trust that he will take care of me. I can't say I am good at that, or that I have really ever tried. Especially as I continue to struggle with my relationship with the Lord.
In the past week and a half, two amazing people that have touched my life have passed away. Actually, they passed away within a day of each other, but I only just found out about one today.
The first was an extremely intelligent, caring individual, who always had a smile on his face and strived to make the world a better place. I was lucky enough to work with him for a few years, and although we were not "close," knowing that he is no longer a part of this world is difficult for me. Such a wonderful, young soul, who cared about people.
The second was B and my vet. We had heard that he had been in a logging accident earlier in the month and often wondered how he was doing, but had not heard anything. Tonight, as I was browsing through our local newspaper online, I saw an obituary for him and my heart just sunk. We only started to go to this vet when we moved to our house a little less then 2 years ago, but he was a vet like none other. He truly cared not just for the animals he was working with, but the people who loved them. Although not young, like my former co-worker, his death is a blow, and our community has lost an extremely valuable asset.
It is times like these that I realize that B is right. We are very lucky, and what I am worrying about is nothing compared to what others in the world, or even that I know, are struggling with at this very moment. Many times, the things that I am worrying about are things that can be fixed or taken care of if I choose to take action. But the families of the two men that were recently lost? They can't change that.
One thing that these two men had in common (despite being loved and valued by many) was a love of the Lord. As B said about my co-worker, "He was a man who loved the Lord, and it was so obvious." And it truly was. And one thing I can say about the families and many of the close friends of these two men is that they too love the Lord, and despite their struggles, I know (through conversations with and comments by some of them) that they are continuing to have faith and believe, despite the very real difficult times ahead. It seems that every time I am at one of those points where the worrying consumes me, things happen that remind me that my worries are trivial. Sometimes I wonder how many times the Lord has to reach out and show me that I need to trust him before I will finally acknowledge that he will take care of me.
**sorry if this is a bit scattered. I have so much going through my head, I had a hard time organizing this post.