Frustration #1

Ok, so I deleted my last post, which was a wild rant that didn't really seem to make any sense at all... I probably shouldn't post when I am in moods like that. I used to write in my journal when I was upset/angry/frustrated, but I can't find it still and I go through periods of journal writing. Who knows. So, if you read my last post, sorry. If you didn't, you don't have to worry about it now, and can be glad you don't have to read it.

I will admit there are some things I am currently frustrated with and would like to point out...here is the first.

As I've mentioned, I have tons of animals and my animals mean the world to me. I hope to at some point talk about all of them on here to give an idea of my loves. But anyway, on to the frustration. This past year, B and I got a very high-content wolf puppy, which is something we both wanted for quite some time. Our first attempt ended in heart-break, which I won't really go in to. Our second attempt is our beautiful and loving Kaos. He is approximately 98% wolf. A lot of people will say you can't really talk about percentages when it comes to wolfdogs, but in this case the breeders knows the histories of his animals back to like the great-great-great grandparents...we have the lineage of ours. So I can be pretty confident when I say that he is that high (his dad is full-blooded wolf). Things with Kaos have been going extremely well...if anything, I wish we would have been able to spend more time with him as a pup when we first got him like we did our first puppy, but the time when we got him caused us not to be as diligent as we probably should have been. But I digress. He's a good boy.

B and I had been talking about getting a mate for Kaos...maybe for breeding, maybe not, but in part because he is currently bonded with my chow mix Jasmine, who used to be an indoor dog until she became Kaos' babysitter. I, selfishly would like Jasmine back in the house with me, and I believe she would like that too. :) Well, not too long after these conversations started, Kaos' breeder called us and asked us if we wanted another wolf pup for free. He had two females left and he needed to get rid of them before they got older for fear they wouldn't get socialized well enough. These pups were 6 months old and probably the thing that did it for B and I, were sisters to our original wolf pup. So, we went up and got her.

We decided to name her Cynder and she had a pretty nervewracking trip, but we figured she would settle down once in the kennel with Kaos and with some time to adjust to her new surroundings. Well...she got out of the kennel within the first 16 hours of being in the house. We looked everywhere for her to no avail and were pretty heartbroken. There was really no chance she would return to a place she didn't know, to a pack she hadn't bonded with. Nine days passed with not a trace of her, and suddenly she shows up again. I get her in the kennel, call B and am scared to lose her again. In fact, I believe I am in shock that she is in the kennel at all, because I truly believed I would only ever see her again if she was hit on the road or shot (and someone called us because of her tag). B spends most of that night putting a roof on the kennel so she can't jump out. She tries constantly when she hears new noises/sees new people. This is not surprising for a wolf pup that has not been socialized properly. (I would not recommend getting a wolf pup at this age either...it is probably best that you get them around 2 months of age so they can bond with you when they are very young). I figure that once I get to spend some time with her and show her that it is fun to be with humans and she gets yummy treats and ooooh so good belly rubs, that she'll get better. And believe me, I am willing to put in the time.

Well...I go shopping the next day, happy to see that she hasn't gotten out at night. Seems the roof is working... And then I return and wouldn't you know I see only Kaos in the kennel and he is looking up at the roof like uhhh. I can't believe it because Cynder has jumped up, pushed aside boards and fencing, and managed to escape AGAIN. I am in disbelief. I'm scared she has probably run off again and that we won't see her yet again. But before I can get too upset, I see her behind the kennel. The only problem is, this time she knows what will happen if she comes in the kennel (how I got her back before...tricked her in and shut the door) and she isn't hungry like she was before.

I spend all day trying to get her back. B comes home from work early to try. We spend the next day trying...all to no avail. Another bad thing about getting a wolf pup at 6 months that hasn't been socialized properly...they are skittish and don't come over to humans because they aren't sure what to think. Now, she lets us get close to her, and waits for us to feed her, but anything that has four walls she stays away from and we can't get quite close enough to grab her.

And this is where it starts to get really frustrating for us. We feel that the only way we are going to have any chance to catch her is to tranquilze her through the food because we just can't get her any other way. She is staying around and we are lucky for that, but how long will it last? How long before she goes across the riverbed and gets a chicken, or wonders into the street? We call the vet as a last resort...and they tell us sorry, but we haven't seen her, so we can't help you. Well, that's interesting. We haven't had her in a kennel long enough to get her to a vet. Otherwise she would have been there. We try another vet. Same thing. And another. What is sooo frustrating is that two of the vets are ones that B and I have been using for years. My vet in particular I have been going to for 4 years and have taken NUMEROUS animals to over the years as I have rescued them and taken them to the farm. I can't believe that no one will help us catch a dog that is on the lose. And this continues to be the theme. They tell us to use Benadryl (sorry, doesn't KNOCK a dog out cold like a tranq), to use a trap (um, they are too smart for this, but we tried anyway, and what a waste of money as she never went near it), not feed her (well...maybe this would be ok if we weren't near other farms and fear that hunger will lead her away and possibly to kill one of their animals), etc. We have explained time and again that this is not working and we just want to catch our dog. No one will help.

It continues to be frustrating, and I believe that this week is our last chance. We have unfortunately had to resort to ordering foot traps. If this doesn't work, I know what our next step will have to be, even though I don't want to admit it. What we have to face is that the longer she is out, the less Cynder will be socialized, and the more chance we are taking that she will run off and get hurt or hurt a farmer's animal. Time is so critical right now and I just can't believe that when a person needs help getting their animal back...it seems like it doesn't matter. It is so frustrating to be so close to catching her and yet...so far. We have really tried a lot. B made a net to try and trick her on to it. We used the trap. We have tried to be patient to get her to trust us by feeding her. We have tried to trick her in to buildings and the kennel. I even gave her Benadryl but even though it made her tired, she still woke up when something moved toward her. We are out of ideas after the foot traps unless somehow we can get tranqs, which I don't see happening.

Can you see why I am so frustrated with this?