Quoted

Student: "Chris said that you have a head that is too big for your body."
Me: "Ohhh. Interesting."
Student: "Or maybe it was that your head was small and your body was large."
Me: "Was Chris one of the students who had to write his name on the board when I was there the other day?"
Student: "Yeah, he got in trouble when you were subbing for our class."
Me: "That's what I thought."

Apparently, I'm the mean sub because I hold kids accountable when they shout and curse in class. :) Since I've been subbing at the same school for the last few weeks I've gotten to know many of the students, and have been the sub for many different classes. Apparently, many of the kids think I'm mean because they got in trouble. Ha. I wonder if they think their regular teachers are mean when they get in trouble with them? :)

Wow.

What have I been doing this month? Not posting it seems. Life has been...busy.

For a while there, I was having a hard time posting. Not knowing what to say. Wanting to say something, but worrying that the fact I was feeling kind of down would reflect way too much in my posts...and didn't want my posts to be all negative.

We took a trip to the farm, and that was difficult on me...caused a lot of stress. That trip taught me that people can really suck. Not that I didn't know that already. But, I hate that so many people are out to rip people off...and you never know who to trust. The main reason for our trip was to find an auctioneer for the equipment/tools still at the farm, but what I found were people who were full of BS and quite ridiculous. I didn't like either of the auctioneers we met with, but unfortunately, we had to go with one. How you pick in a situation like that is beyond me. We believe that everything will be over with the farm come June 30th. As sad as I am, I can't really wait. I need this stress to be over with.

I've been subbing A LOT more this month. I finally got a call to sub at the school two minutes from our house, and ever since then I've been going there a few times a week. They like that I'm so close and easy. :) I'm working there at least 9 more days the next two weeks. (And wouldn't you know that I get asked to sub one place and suddenly I start getting called by the sub line more too? Now I'm worried that since I've had to turn down the sub line too often that they won't call me again. Sigh. I wish I knew how it worked better...). It's been nice to be working often, but at the same time, a bit tiring. It isn't easy being a sub, that's for sure. :) The kids sure are interesting some times... It has also been rough because B has moved to afternoon shift, which means when I work, we only see each other about a half hour in the morning and maybe a half hour at night when he gets home. It has been really hard for me to adjust to not having him here, or really seeing him. No more dinners together, or watching our favorite shows. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself at night, and my schedule is all out of whack. I guess I'll get used to it eventually.

We've also been busy trying to get stuff done around the house since the weather has been nice. I've been mowing A LOT. We had to buy a new mower. Ugh. Ours broke down several times and finally just crashed. It seemed we were going to be putting more money in to it then we should...so it made more sense to buy a new one, even though I really, really didn't want to put out that kind of money again. Seems like once you get one bill paid off, another one just pops up. Grr. We've been doing maintenance on the tractors and crossed one big project off our to-do list, which was to build a bigger kennel for the pups. Here it is:


Not sure you can actually see how big it is, but it is a 30x40 and I know they absolutely LOVE it. They run all over the place. :) The only thing that's rough is that they dig ALL the time. It is no longer full of the green grass you see in this photo. They've dug about 10 holes in there in the week and a half its been done. But, if it makes them happy, that's all that matters. :)

We've been busy with the chickens and chicks as well. I must admit I will be glad when all of them are outside. We've moved the second set of chicks out, and now have the last set still in the house. They should be ready to go out in about a week. However, only the oldest chicks are running around outside. This is my favorite picture from the last week.

I just love it.

I also want to give a shout out to my wonderful bloggy friend HelloSweetWorld, who surprised me when she sent me some wonderful farm stationary and stamps. They arrived in the midst of a bad week, and totally made my day. I absolutely love them. :)

Hopefully, I'll be better at blogging in the coming days. I hope everyone is doing well! I promise I'm coming round to your blogs to catch up too!

Saturday Savings!

Finally back with a Saturday Savings post! Been super busy and haven't been getting my grocery shopping done until Saturday afternoons, which means no time for posts!

This week, I shopped at Kroger (although I might still make a quick trip to CVS later today). I was very happy with my take this week! Lots of free stuff! I got the following:

for $38.53. I saved $68.04!!! I purchased 41 items and got many of them free...the toilet paper (yay! Free toilet paper again...wish I had known, I would have bought more papers!), the Quaker quakes, the deodorant, and the spices. Also, there is a Mail in Rebate for the All-Bran, so, essentially, I got those for free as well.

Last week I spent $6.00 at CVS and saved $30, and $50.64 at Kroger, while saving $25.12. The week before, I spent $3.70 at CVS and saved $43.90 and $38.07 at Kroger and saved $59.11.

I would have liked to do a month in review, but I seem to have lost some of my receipts...or at least I used them for MIRs and that means I can't be entirely accurate. I do know that I stayed below my $200, although it was a bit of a struggle this month. I also had somewhere around $20 in MIRs for the month.

Hopefully next month I'll be a little more on top of everything! Happy shopping!

Thinking...

I don't talk about religion often on this blog. I guess because for me, it is still a relatively difficult subject.

Religion and God specifically, were a part of my life growing up. They certainly were not a "main part though. We went to church on Sundays and I attended a Catholic school (despite not being Catholic, it was a good school). Family issues and my eventual focus on skating meant that for about 6 years my sister and I rarely went to church, with the exception of holidays. At some point during those 6 years, I went from loving attending church and Sunday school, to dreading having to go.

About the age of 12 or so, my dad felt we needed to start going to church again. However, he wanted to find a new church. This meant that we visited several before he settled on one he liked - but this process was very difficult for my sister and I. As two very shy young girls, we didn't have an easy time fitting in or feeling comfortable in these new environments where we knew no one.

When my dad finally settled on a church, he sent me to Sunday school. My sister didn't go for some reason I don't remember. But I remember how uncomfortable I felt in that Sunday school. It was awful for me. Everyone there already knew each other and they weren't very welcoming. I was made fun of more then once. I hated going. I tried hard to get out of it as often as I could. I hoped my dad wouldn't wake up in time to go. When I was old enough to start attending services, I continued to struggle. Our pastor's sermons were an hour or longer most days. I didn't understand what he was saying half the time and had a hard time paying attention. I had questions that went unanswered and was often too afraid to ask. I struggled.

I struggled up until I went to college. When I got there, I stopped going to church. My boyfriend and I attended a few times, but never found one we liked. I often had the desire to go, but just never could make myself. Laziness and fear I think.

I often told myself when I first went to grad school that I would find a church. And yet I didn't. And that June, I was faced with my father's illness.

Watching my dad struggle as he did through his melanoma diagnosis and treatment significantly impacted me. During the time he was sick, his faith only increased. I certainly prayed more, but I was angry about what was happening to my dad - a good man who believed and tried to live his life the best he could. How could so many people who were unmoral and bad people still be out there living their lives while my dad was faced with the knowledge he was dying and significant suffering?

My dad knew where he was going when he passed, but that didn't make it any easier on me. My pain at having lost him and seeing him suffer - my pain as I grieved and through the events that continued to happen over the next few years. I was angry with God and angry at life. I began questioning more and more. And I could never find the answers to my questions. I became very cynical. And that seems to be where I am stuck.

Going to church since my father passed always makes me feel an overwhelming sense of sadness and brings tears to my eyes. I don't like to go. So, I don't.

I can't say I'm necessarily comfortable with where I am right now, but I also don't know how to change where I am at. B tries hard. He is very knowledgeable about religion and tries to talk to me every day about things. To help me understand. To help me find my way back. Sometimes I am in the mood to listen, others I question what he says (I can't help myself), and others, I don't want to hear it.

I guess I'm not even sure why I chose to write about this today, but it is a struggle I thought I should share.

Chick Stories...

I hinted last week in a quick post that we lost some of our chicks. In all, we lost 5, so we were left with 5. It was very difficult for me to lose them. Not because of the attachment (that I was trying so hard to avoid) but because some of them suffered. And because I was so excited to start this new project and it seemed that in a matter of seconds it all changed after so much time and effort.

B and I decided to look for a few more chicks after this because we did want to have at least 15 laying hens by the end of everything. So, yesterday we finally found a guy that was selling some (we were told that TSC only took orders and they had to be 25 or more, so we didn't bother going there) and went to pick them up. Of course, we get there and we are talking to the guy and B asks, "So, how do you tell when they are a male or female?" "When they get older," the guy replies. Uh. So, it turns out, we weren't getting 10 guaranteed females...just 10 chicks and you get what you get. I'm crossing my fingers at least 5 are females. We don't have much use for lots of males...although we did get a rooster when we went to this place, who we have named Elvis, and when I get a picture of him, you will see why.

I come home today and B surprises me by telling me that he went to TSC and guess what? They had chicks for sale even though we were told they didn't sell them individually. He got 10 more. And he knows they are females. We would have just gone there in the first place had we known that they had them for sale and never worried about the 10 unknowns! :) So, now we are up 20 chicks to replace 5 that we lost. How did that happen? We must be becoming chicken farmers...I am still excited about raising chickens, and have come to quite enjoy it. I'm crossing my fingers that we have learned enough to keep these little ones alive and well.

Here are pics of the new chicks. The black ones, gray ones, brown one in the middle and brown one on the right are unknowns. The light chicks and the one on the left are from TSC.

These ones are my favorite. We have two little grey ones that look like this. They are feather footed, and actually what our rooster is. I think they are just adorable.

Apparently, the new little ones think it is appropriate to lie entirely in the food for whatever reason... And the funniest part of the whole experience...we were trying to figure out the whole sexing the chick thing, not realizing that you had to do it when they were a day old. So...here is B, trying to squeeze the poo out to see if he can tell if it is a male or female. Haha.

Want to take a few guesses at how many will end up female and how many male?

5 Things, and something you should watch...

5 items in which I update you on my life (sorta, some stories reserved for later posts).

1) It has been raining here the last two days, and is supposed to rain again tomorrow...blah. Of course, it is supposed to be lovely on Thursday and Friday, when I am scheduled to work. Reasons I dislike rain, even though it is needed:

-> the pasture becomes a muddy mess
-> the yard becomes a muddy mess, and I get stuck when I try to mow and get mud all over the mower, even if it is 4 days after it has last rained.
-> 3 of our dogs go in and out of the house, therefore, they track a ridiculous amount of mud into the house, even when we wipe their paws off. Which is really nice on the white carpet the former owners thought was great in a farm house (I can't wait to one day change it).
-> we live in an area that floods. Luckily, our house is not in the flood plain, but the town around our house is, and the creek is getting high...not sure it is going to be able to make it with yet another full day of rain...

2) This reason for disliking the rain deserves its own number. Rain makes the stairs to the chicken coop extremely slippery. So slippery, I slipped on them twice today. The first time, I'm not sure how I didn't end up on my butt...but I did catch myself and only hit my arm. The second time, I don't know how I didn't end up on my face. I thought for sure I was going to go down and hit my face on the steps. It is going to happen one of these days if we don't fix how slippery the steps are. I just know it...

3) I walked outside yesterday to take care of the animals before leaving for work and found myself looking at a deer head. I was quite surprised. I shouldn't have been, since we have pieces of deer around our property often since we pick up road kill for the wolfdogs, but I was not expecting this deer head outside my door in the morning. I have no idea how it made it from the wolfdog kennel to the front yard. I don't really want to know. All I know is that people that don't know we pick up roadkill for the pups would probably be really freaked out if they visited our house (and might be even if they did know...).

4) I was extremely distressed while subbing yesterday because of what I observed while subbing for a preschool. There were about 13 kids in too tiny of a space, and 4 of these boys went around punching/hitting/kicking/terrorizing the other kids the entire time. When I asked the aide what to do in order to correct these kids, I was told I could just talk to them...and let them know that we didn't allow hitting. WHAT?!? Obviously this works well. I was told it was a regular occurance and didn't just happen because I was a sub. What ever happened to good old-fashioned punishment? I'm not saying I'm for punishing a kid, but time-outs...some sort of consequence! Talking to them. Right. I am honestly scared at what I see in schools nowadays...every time I sub, it becomes more clear to me that the upcoming generation is not raised in the way I was raised...and are just not what I would hope a child would be...

5) The other day, as I was doing things near the wolfdog kennel, I started to hear squawking. I couldn't figure out what was going on, until I looked closely at Kaos, and saw that he had gotten a hold of one of the chicken's tails! I started kicking at the kennel and yelling to get him to let go (which was quicker then running around the other side to actually get in the kennel), and finally he did. Now, Kaos has been quite obsessed with the chickens since they arrived. No doubt, he would love to make them a snack if he could. The chickens are absolutely oblivious to the fact that he is constantly watching them as they walk around, and under the wolfdog kennel (yes, they go under it...it is built on a wood platform, and they love all the bugs they can find under it). They have been torturing Kaos as they have been walking under him, and he constantly tries to pounce on them as he can see them through the cracks between pieces of wood. I guess, this particular day, the chicken's tail poked up just enough between the pieces that he was able to get it. When released, the chicken walked out from under the kennel, shook herself and continued on her way...despite the fact her tail feathers were a little plussed! And wouldn't you know, they were right back under the kennel just a few hours later...

I'll be back tomorrow hopefully with an update on things around here. I needed a little break as I explained in an earlier post. I did have a rough few days last week, but I'm feeling better.

I wanted to put a video in here, but it seems that the emedding from YouTube has been disabled for this particular video. So, click here to watch it. It is an amazing performance...brought tears to my eyes...and Simon's face. I love it.

In Memory of My Grandmother

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my grandmother's passing. I still miss her quite a bit - her laugh, smile and amazing ability to love. She had such a wonderful sense of humor. I thought I would share the note I wrote last year following her death. It includes what I read at her funeral.

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As many of you already know, my grandmother (also known as Mom-Mom) passed away last week on April 11th, at the age of 95. I know that when most people hear that she was that old, they are like wow, and I know that my common response is that well, of course we kinda expected it might happen soon, but in reality, the world has lost a very special person and that is my response because I don't know what else to say. My grandmother was an amazing woman. I have so many memories of her that it is hard to organize them all. I'm having a hard time thinking that I will never drive the road to visit her again, or see her or talk to her. She was my last living grandparent.

I have some regrets in regard to the last few months of her life as well. I last saw her on Christmas, and she became very ill in March...I made the decision not to go see her because I didn't want to see her sick and dying like I had my other grandmother, my grandfather, and my dad. It has been very hard to get over those last visions and I didn't want that to be the way I remembered her. She got somewhat better after that incident in March, and I talked to her on her birthday. I promised I would come and see her as soon as I could, and she told me I better hurry. I never talked to her again. I have many times told myself that we need to make sure the people in our lives know that we love them and the impact they have made on us. I seem to forget that and get caught in my life too much sometimes...you would think I would learn after losing two people in my life who I regret not telling how important they were to me. I don't regret not seeing her while she was sick because my last memory of her is a happy one where she was her typical self. But I do regret not calling her more and going to see her when she was in-between her last episodes of illness. I can't tell you enough how important it is to tell those you love and care about how much they mean to you and what it is they've done for you while they are here. Not that they may not already know, but it is important that you are sure they do know. Put aside your life for a minute and take care of the person who has given you that love for so long.

I want to write more about the person she was and what I will miss, but that will take forever. Instead, I will include what I wrote and read at her funeral. I will miss her so much and wish I could hear her laughter one more time...


My Mom-Mom: March 10th, 1913 - April 11th, 2008

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking the last few days about what I could share about my mom-mom. It is hard to put 26 years worth of experiences into a few short minutes, so I’ve decided that the best thing to do is to focus on a few of my best memories and the personality traits that I will never forget. Some of my favorite memories of my mom-mom from early on are the weekends I would get to spend with her and my pop-pop by myself. I loved the fun things they would do with me. I remember walking the paths behind the manor collecting pine cones with them and always looking for the perfect one. I always looked forward to sleeping on the fun bed in the guest room. I remember extravagant Easter egg hunts, where I would race around with my sister looking for the eggs, and they would always be hidden in the perfect places. I remember her tea sets and my desire to have one, and her works of art. My mom-mom is also the one who taught me how to work a slinky and a jumping bean. I remember waking up early when we would be at the beach, and going upstairs to sneak into her bedroom so we could snuggle and talk. I remember playing card games with my mom-mom and her competiveness. She taught me many games and is probably the only one I knew who could play Kings In the Corners. I've missed playing games with her the past few years. My sister was right in that she was always trying to set us up with men she would meet, regardless of whether we were with someone at the time, but I will say that even though it was important that my family approved of my boyfriend, it was my mom-mom who had the final say. If she didn’t like him, I knew there was a problem. Over the years as I became more involved in skating, I began to see my mom-mom less. She always let me know she supported me though, through letters and phone calls. One thing that will always stand out to me was when she flew out to Vancouver to see me and my partner compete. At 86, this was quite a feat, and she did it anyway. I was extremely thankful.

Something that always amazed me about my mom-mom is that she always seemed so much younger then she was. I find it hard to believe that for pretty much my whole life she was in her 70s and above. To me, she seemed to have endless energy and joy, and for a long time, she would be darned if something kept her from doing what she wanted to do. Maybe it was her unforgettable smile or her absolutely joyous laugh that you could recognize no matter where you were. I will never be able to forget the smile on her face when she saw me walking towards her last Christmas, or her laughing as she argued with B about whether penguins had fir or feathers. She was even able to laugh at the many times I would accidentally bump her into things when pushing her in her wheelchair. Even as her body aged, my mom-moms mind and heart were still young. She was tenacious and determined, and I believe I have that same determination in me. Mom-mom was also a flirt. Oh boy did she like to flirt with men. Young or old, married to one of her granddaughters or someone else, she didn’t care. But despite her flirting, her love for my pop-pop always shone through. I can’t think of their relationship without thinking of love. Despite how her mind began to become more confused as the years passed, she was always able to talk to me about my pop-pop with clarity. Two Christmas’s ago, when I was visiting, she had letters from him in her room. I read some and asked her about how they met and their courtship and I learned things I hadn’t before, and all the while she was talking to me, she was giggling and smiling. I loved it. I loved my mom-mom and will miss her dearly. I will so miss her smile and laughter. I will miss playing card games with her and having her call me the wrong name. But I am happy that she is in a place where she gets to see my dad and even more so that she gets to be with the man she loved so much, after waiting so long to be reunited.

Ugh.

We did make it back from our trip. I'll update soon. I'm recovering from the last few days of subbing and traveling, from trying to figure out the right thing to do with auctioneers and people who seem to always be out to undermine you just to make a buck, and from the loss of a few of our chicks today. It's been a difficult couple of days, and I'll be glad to have a day or two to kinda sit back and just be...hopefully.

Traveling, Yet Again....

The next few days are going to be busy! I sub today, and B works. We'll both be home around 3:45. At this point, we need to get the animals fed and taken care of and then we will hit the road, to travel up to the farm yet again. Yay for a 7-hour drive. We will be staying in a hotel this time though. Happily. On Wednesday we will have to be up early to meet the first of two auctioneers. We are trying to figure out if it is worth our while to auction the stuff that is up there or try and figure out if there is a better option. Who knows at this point... In the midst of meeting the auctioneers, we'll be packing and loading up more stuff to bring back to our place. We will leave when done - to travel pack Wednesday night, and then I have to sub on Thursday (I don't know why I stupidly agreed to this). I will probably be subbing on little sleep!

This will make our third trip up to the farm in a month, and while I would like to think it will be our last for a while, I can't say it will be. The sale of the farm is supposed to take place at the end of the month, although we will still have time to get the rest of our stuff from up there. I still find it extremely difficult to accept the fact that it is selling...all of it...even though I will be relieved when everything is said and done. It has been a source of stress and worry and unhappiness for so long now...and it has been even harder on me since it has been up to B and I to take care of everything, even though I wasn't the one who really wanted it sold...but, I'm trying not to go there.

It will probably be a few days until I am back, as I will be catching up on a few things when we do get back (such as sleep!), and I imagine quite busy!

Busy Busy!

The weather has been so nice the past week or so that I have been extremely busy doing things outside. Of course, the inside of the house reflects this (which means since it is now rainy and nasty, and will be for the next week or so, I should have time to catch up), but things are coming together outside. I got the lawn mowed for the first time this year. I've been working in the flower beds. We finally got the dock fixed from when the wind storm knocked it out of place. And we got the chicken coop almost entirely finished, with the exception of a few boxes, which is good because last Sunday, a couple that B works with gave us their 6 chickens. Yes, that is in addition to the 10 chicks we already have. But these chickens are already laying eggs, and since we got them, we have already gotten over 2 dozen eggs! I've really enjoyed the fresh eggs. We actually cracked fresh brown ones next to the white ones I got last at the store. And they were quite different! The yolks were a brighter yellow and bigger, and the eggs were more firm in our home grown eggs.

These chickens are actually a mix. Some of them actually lay blue-green eggs, also known as Easter eggs I've been told, and the rest lay brown eggs. It seems our animal family just keeps growing!

I really like having our own eggs, and I still hope that we will eventually be able to sell some at the Farmer's Market once our 10 chicks start laying eggs. Until then, we already have people that we know interested in buying some from us, which is nice. We definitely can't eat them all ourselves! :)

Speaking of the little chicks, here is the picture I took right before we put them outside earlier this week:
Two and a half weeks, and they have grown enormously! Not to mention, they seem to be in the ugly, awkward stage of getting their feathers... :) makes me laugh. We have let them wander outside in an enclosed space and they seemed to enjoy it, but for the most part they are still kept inside an area of the chicken coop with the heat lamp. Hopefully they will be ok, because the weather has decided to backtrack and we are supposed to get snow on Tuesday! I think they have enough feathers now to keep warm with the heat lamp (although we may lower it just to be safe).

The dogs have also been really good about the chickens. We have been slow to introduce them, and so far there have only been a few chases. I believe that sometime soon the dogs will be desensitized to them just as they are the geese that are always hanging out around our pond (which I wish the dogs would chase away). We just have to be extra careful and observant when the dogs are near where the chickens are right now.

I must admit, that I have really enjoyed this experience so far. It has been fun watching the chicks grow, and I even love having the bigger chickens. I love going in the coop and finding eggs, it is kind of like finding a small present every day. :)

Hope all of you were able to enjoy some nice weather over the past week...and that not every one is unlucky enough to get the cold weather we will soon be getting!

Saturday Savings!

What a week! I may still run back to Kroger/Walmart tomorrow to pick up a few small items and of course water, but for the most part, my shopping trips were relatively small. We are pretty stocked up and were lucky enough to have some fish given to us this week as well as get some home-grown eggs, so we didn't really touch our meat supply. I did go to Walmart this week, first time in a while that I've gone there as well as CVS and Kroger, but, I had good reason as you shall see...

First stop, CVS, where I bought:

for $1.19. I saved $32.82!!! And most of that was tax! Gotta love getting two tubes of mascara for nickles...

I then went to Walmart where I bought:


for $16.76. I saved $19.44!! And, the really tricky part is that I actually have three Mail-In-Rebates from this purchase. The cookies, the Resolve and the shampoo will all come back in rebates - a total of $14.49, which actually means in the long run, I spent a total of $2.17 on everything pictured! That was mostly tax! I don't normally put our pet food in my posts because that comes out of a different fund, but I put it in this time because I got both those bags free! Which was quite nice!

Finally, I stopped at Kroger, where I picked up the following:

for a total of $8.09 (yay for expensive lightbulbs that Walmart doesn't carry...). I saved $17.91!!! Yup, all that milk was free. And all the granola bars were $5 total. We love granola bars in my house so it was nice to have a good deal involving them. I may just do the deal again when I go back to town on Sunday because it is almost too good to pass up...

All in all this week I spent a total of $26.04. I saved a total of $70.17!!! And I earned $14.49 in Mail in Rebates. Unlike some people, rather then put the money earned from MIRs back in to my grocery budget, I use them to pay a little extra on our outstanding loans. I figure since I already set aside a specific amount for a grocery budget, and don't have too much trouble sticking with it, that it does us more good to put them towards loans. That's just my strategy though!

Happy shopping!

April Fool's!

"You can always tell it's April
By the sound of falling rain
That mystic, mournful music
As it trickles down the drain.

We're told we should be thankful

For the kiss of April showers
As it washes all the grass clean
And prepares the soil for flowers.

There's another side to April

Which doesn't bode us good,
When that mini, manic maelstrom
Turns the lawn to liquid mud."
- Thomas Vaughan Jones, O' To Be in April

I can't believe it is April already! Time just keeps going faster and faster... I do like April for the fact it does bring warmer weather, and the Easter bunny. I don't like the fact that yes, it does turn my lawn in to an absolute mess of mud. :)

April brings my mom's birthday and a bit of traveling for B and I. But, for the most part, I'm hoping for a quiet month where we can focus on getting some projects completed.

Here's hoping I don't get April Fooled this year (I did last year, will post about it at some point!).