Thoughts on the year gone past...

I've spent the past few weeks reflecting on the past year and re-reading many of my old blog posts. I must admit, I have not spent as much time on this blog in the past few months as I would have liked. It seems when I started to work a lot, my motivation to post went downhill. Then in the summer, when I became pregnant and quite exhausted, I still did not have the motivation. The interesting thing is, that I often find myself writing posts in my head while doing things, but I can never remember them when I actually sit down at the computer (so instead I just read everyone else's posts, but then don't comment...but at least I'm keeping up with you all). I find it a bit sad I have not posted because I really wanted to document my pregnancy and be able to look back on it in years to come.

As I've looked over many of the things I felt were important to blog about, I realize that this year has been full of more challenges and some extreme ups and downs for me. I still struggle daily with many of the things that have happened to me over the last 5 years, and yet, I am still able to find joy and happiness in many parts of my life.

This year, we sold the Christmas tree farm, which was one of my favorite places in the world, and what I felt was one of the last remaining pieces of my dad I really had. B and I spent many hours on the road traveling to and from the farm to bring back what we could use on our farm and in June, I made my last trip there. I still think about it often, especially this time of year, and I will admit, that even though I have not sold Christmas trees the past 2 years, I still miss it. I miss the smell, and the people and the trees. I really enjoyed that part of my life when I did it.

B and I finally went on our honeymoon to Hawaii, right before our one year anniversary. We had a great time and really enjoyed ourselves (although our flights were AWFUL!). We have been married for a year and 3 months now, and I love him more now then I did the day we got married. And of course, our big news for the year is the fact that we are having a baby. Our lives are about to change in a huge way, and I am both nervous and excited for what is to come.

This year on the farm has been a learning experience for us both. We have so many ideas and plans...but we have so much to learn. We added a few new members of the family, with a German Shepherd (Khloe) and a Great Pyrenees (Odie...who we took from his sister recently because she couldn't keep him from wandering off her property). We also lost a few...our kitties Maggie, Mouse and Tears. My dog Jasmine also had to have her leg amputated, which was probably more traumatic for me then for her. We began raising chickens, and love the fresh eggs, but also have found that we have WAY more then we need. Our refrigerator is overflowing with eggs right now, and not enough people to give them to! We also tried to get more in to the meat goat business...and this has been where we have probably learned the most. We are definitely not where we had hoped we would be at this point, and are currently trying to figure out our next step.

I'm not one to really make resolution's as the new year begins. I try to focus more on ways that I can better myself and what would be nice to focus on in the coming year. The biggest things for me are trying to get myself out from underneath all the clutter and items I have accumulated since my dad passed away (I talked about this earlier in the year...and started...but then I got pregnant, and um...it didn't go quite as planned), and trying to be a better wife, and of course a good mother once our baby gets here. On a whole, I would like to be more motivated to accomplish the things around our house that need to be done and can make life easier on B. I'm not the best at this, and it is a constant challenge that I must work on.

I have also set a goal for myself to return to this blog. I have missed writing and that was the reason I started this blog in the first place. Writing has always been a good outlet for me, however, sometimes I just let other things get in the way...

I'll finish by posting some of the more meaningful (to me) posts from this past year:
- 6 months of marriage
- Religion
- Forgiveness
- My Relationship with my Mom