Runny Noses and Dishwashing...

sums up my first day of work. I got coughed on a lot. One of the little girls bit my sweatshirt. Oh, and I washed dishes for 2 hours. I don't even like to wash the dishes at home. In fact, it is my least favorite chore... Working in a daycare requires a lot of handwashing and cleaning. I never knew that I guess. I'm exhausted. I only worked at the daycare for three hours and change...and I of course taught my class...but wow. I'm still trying to keep an open-mind. I want to make it through a whole week before I make a judgment. So, I'm attempting to stay positive.

It begins

I start work tomorrow. My first shift is 12:30-3:45 and then I have to run (drive VERY quickly) to the university to make it to my class to be able to teach by 4:10. I feel that I will be cutting it very close...especially since I still can't move very quickly on my ankle (from the horse accident that happened almost 6 weeks ago!). I'm not excited. I have to spend most of the day in town since I have to get a TB test before 11, and driving back to the house just doesn't make sense. I'm trying to stay positive about this job. I really am. Especially since I haven't even started...but I'm finding it hard to get excited.

I'm almost done the wedding post...

Jasmine

My father's death left a huge hole in my heart. I had no idea how to make it go away, or even how to be happy again. I struggled every day to keep going and often found it difficult. One of the ways I tried to fill the massive hole I felt was through animals. First, I got Onyx. His companionship and love were wonderful. But I still felt empty. I couldn't have Onyx with me at school, and missing him made me feel worse.

One day in April, as the end of the school year was still about two months away, I went to the local pet store. Now mind you, I am not a fan of pet stores. But I would often visit (and still do) just to look at the puppies and maybe play with one while there. On this day in particular, they had what appeared to be a black Chow (I say appeared because the puppy didn't fully look like a Chow, but the employees insisted it was a full Chow). I had loved Chows since I had first been introduced to the breed when I was about 10. My skating coach's parents had two Chows, Dutch and Bambi, and they were beautiful and sweet. I loved their blue tongues, and their fluffy coats, and hoped to one day own a Chow myself. I have no idea why I wanted a black one, but that was the color I pictured having (and black is not a very common color for a Chow).

Anyway, I saw this little ball of fur in the cage, and asked if I could play with her. I thought she was the cutest thing I had ever seen. She was extremely well behaved in the play area and I fell in love with her. Not to say I don't fall in love with most puppies. I do. I'll own it. I would probably own hundreds if I could because of my passion for making sure animals have a caring home and happy life, but I can typically leave the animal after seeing it and not really think about it again.

That was not the case with Jasmine. I went back to my apartment that night and continued to think of her. I talked to a friend about her, and he certainly didn't talk me out of getting her. In fact, he convinced me to get her. The whole next day, I thought about whether or not I should really get a dog. I had always wanted one. My parents never would let us. For good reason...we were hardly ever home and our house was not fit for a dog. But I was really against buying from a pet store. I knew she was WAY overpriced. There were thousands of dogs in the world at shelters that needed homes. I wouldn't be able to keep her when I got her because I wasn't allowed to have her in my apartment. I decided if she was still at the pet store when I went back that it was meant to be.

And I guess it was. She was still there. I played with her some more, and just loved her more. I noticed that her tag said she was a Chow mix. I asked about it, and they told me it was because she couldn't be registered. I didn't care, I had no plans to breed her. So, I walked out of the pet store that night with an overpriced puppy...but didn't feel any regret at her purchase. I just felt she was a special girl and perfect for me.

I decided to name the puppy Jasmine because I was thinking of Disney movies and Princess Jasmine had black hair, just like my puppy. Jasmine stayed with me for a few days in the apartment until I could get her up to my farm, where she would stay until I could have her during the summer.

I missed her dearly. But I felt so much love for the little furball. I was so excited to teach her how to sit and different tricks, and to have a pet I could go on runs with. Even though the rest of the time at school went slowly, I was finally reunited with her. And from that day on, she barely left my side.

Jasmine learned quickly, although she was incredibly stubborn. When I had to leave her, she whined, and laid by the door until I came back. She was always by my feet when I was on the couch and she slept in my bed. She loved people and people loved her. She also loved to ride in the car, and anytime I ran errands, she would go for a ride with me and sit happily in the passenger seat. People would often smile and wave at her when they'd see her sitting there. Jasmine also loved running with me. When I'd get my tennis shoes she'd run happily around. She loved even more when we'd go roller blading because she could go any speed she wanted. And she can run fast. I would let her drag me until she got tired and then I would have to pull her home. :) She also loved Onyx...even though Onyx wasn't totally sure what to think of her. She would chase him around, but then they would often lay around on the floor together. I also discovered that she had a ridiculously loud bark that did not seem to fit the way she looked. Such a ferocious sound, out of such a beautiful dog. It still surprises me to this day.

Jasmine was perfect for my hurting heart. She loved me well and I loved her. As she grew up, I began to see that she really was not a full Chow. She had many of the characteristics, but wasn't quite there. I didn't mind though really. I had a real jem in her.

As I was getting ready to head back to work at the end of the second summer I had Jasmine, I woke up to find her limping. She was in a lot of pain. I eventually discovered that she had torn a ligament in her leg. It would require a huge and very expensive surgery. It also required a very long recovery. She was barely allowed to move for over a month. It was dreadful. She was miserable. My active dog was no longer active, and couldn't sleep in the same bed as me. It was a scary time...I thought she would reinjure herself all the time and she was just so miserable. I was glad when months had passed and we were finally able to run again.

One thing I always felt bad about was not being able to give Jasmine the exercise I knew she needed. Although we would go on runs at times, my job kept me quite busy, and there were some days I was barely home. I knew she needed the exercise, but it was too hard for me. I really couldn't wait to get her to a place that she could run and be outside as much as she wanted (although, I was always scared about her and squirrels...she has a ridiculous obsession with them that has led her to run off on me a few times when she has broken leashes or gotten out before I could attach the leash). When B and I moved onto the farm, Jasmine became a whole different dog. She ran so much she lost a ridiculous amount of weight. But she needed it and truly enjoyed it.

Since I got Jasmine, she has dealt with the addition of several more cats and three more dogs just from me, and more recently, with the joining of B and my family, another dog and our new wolf pup additions. She became the surrogate mother to our first two wolf pups. They absolutely adored her, but you could always tell that she was not the most excited to be with them. They chewed on her, and part of being with the wolf pups 24/7 meant being outside with them 24/7. I could tell this was tough on Jasmine because she could no longer spend as much time with me and B (she loves B...listens to him better then me). B was really determined to keep her outside, because one of the worst things about Jasmine is the fact that she sheds a ridiculous amount, no matter the time of year. But eventually, I was able to convince him to let her back in. It is where she belongs (although she is no longer allowed to sleep on the bed).

Jasmine is a wonderful dog. Although she can be stubborn, and doesn't always listen the best. I love her with all my heart. Getting her that day was one of the best decisions I made. She helped my hurting heart, she has given me unconditional love and she has given me companionship. She is 3.5 now, and still just as great as she was as a puppy. :)

Insomnia

It is Friday night and I can't sleep. This often happens to me. I think I'm tired and go to bed, and then I lay there, things racing through my mind, and I'm suddenly wide awake. I'm very intentional at trying to go to bed the same time as B, mostly because I once read that one of the biggest downfalls couples can have is going to bed at different times. So, no matter what, I go to bed with him...and then wait for him to fall asleep before getting back up (lots of times I hope that I fall asleep too, but it is to no avail).

My dad used to tell me when I couldn't fall asleep that I should get up and write a list about what it was that I was thinking about. I fought doing that for the longest time because that would mean getting up and not getting sleep. But then I realized that lying there thinking of things, I wasn't sleeping either.

Tonight, I couldn't stop thinking of the fact that time goes so fast. Last week at this time I was spending time with two of my best friends, writing my vows, and sleeping in a hotel room. Now, I am sad that my wedding day is over, dealing with the aftermath (long story), and am feeling so sad to know that B goes back to work tomorrow and I start work on Monday. I'm really not looking forward to working again. I really enjoy my time at home with my animals, knowing I can get things done, and knowing that I am home when B gets home. Our schedules will be quite different now, and that is going to take some adjustment. I'll no longer have so much time to grade my papers and sit with the animals. I'm not sure how I'll deal with that quite yet. I think mostly though, I didn't fully think through taking this job, and it may not have been the best choice for me. I'm not really excited about it, and that makes it hard. But, I will have to suck it up for now.

We had really hoped to spend a lot of quality time together this week (we chose not to honeymoon yet with the responsibilities we have with the animals), but things got in the way. We had clean-up on Sunday, had to run around to get my name changed and I had to teach on Monday, spent lots of time trying to get the goats in a pen where they weren't getting out on Tuesday... just stuff. Before we knew it, Friday was here and our time together almost over. Life gets so busy. And if I have heard right, it really only gets worse.

I am working on my post about the wedding. I'm hoping to get it posted in the next few days. I took the week off from blogging, so it will take me a while. I'm also waiting to see if a few more pictures get posted (won't have the ones from the photographer for a bit). I can say I'm enjoying being married. All 7 days. :) I was talking to someone yesterday and said, "My husband," and boy did it feel weird, but also amazing, to say. Even though B and I lived together for a few months before we were married and had joined our lives (financially) when we moved in together, there is just something about looking at the ring on my finger, and knowing that we pledged to support and be with each other in front of friends and family that makes everything so much more special and permanent. I have no idea why.

Ok, I'm going to attempt to grade some papers...hopefully they will help me fall asleep.

Details to come...

It is getting closer.

In less then 48 hours I will be married. Wow. I feel like time is absolutely flying in my life anymore. I really can't wait to see everything come together. We have finished everything we wanted to get finished and all I have left to do is finish writing my vows.

People keep commenting on the fact that I don't seem nervous at all. I'm not nervous. I know I am getting married to my best friend and the best person for me. I have no reason to be nervous I guess. I asked B today if I was supposed to be freaking out. I've never actually been in a wedding or had a really good friend get married, so I suppose I've never been close enough to see if a person does freak out or not. The thing is, I don't want to stress about getting things done anymore, or the day being absolutely perfect...I know some things probably won't go as planned (like our little pup probably dragging the ring bearer down the aisle), but that is the kind of stuff that will make the day memorable. I can't freak out about getting married...I love B and he loves me.

Tomorrow everything starts arriving. Our house will be full with people getting stuff ready and the smell of good food for the rehearsal. I'm excited. All I have to do tomorrow is turn in some paperwork for the job, give the pup a bath, and get my nails done. The rest of the day will be spent enjoying the company of my best friends and my family.

I can't wait to see everything come together.

My Amazing Maid of Honor

I thought I would tell you all about my best friend K, because she is a very special person, and because I am getting excited about the fact that she is going to be here tomorrow...I haven't seen her in 2 months, which is too long!

This is Me and K. I met K 5 years ago when she was one of my staff members. However, we didn't really become close friends until two years ago, when she once again became my staff member, but was more of my second-in-charge since she was a grad student. K had a very difficult year that year. She had a hard time adjusting to the fact that her best friends were no longer around, and had a harder time with the fact that her grandparents passed away within two months of each other. She was very close to her grandparents and their deaths impacted her greatly. I tried to help her through her grief, and later on, when I was struggling through sadness and a loss of passion for my job, she supported me and took on more work to ease up my life.

K is a very quirky person. She has a fear of water (will not go swimming, or watch water scenes in movies), she hates it when people touch her pens (although she is apparently getting better at this), loves the environment, so she recycles a lot, does the People crossword, and eats organic foods. She loves the Beatles and old movies and television shows like The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and had an addiction to YouTube at one point. She has a wonderful sense of fashion that is all her, and absolutely adores Halloween. K has a way with people...she can just share her experiences in a way that makes people relate to her and trust her.

K makes me laugh and we share a love of ice cream, books and cats. Although we are different in many ways, we are able to talk and listen to each other. I miss her a lot, as she moved away in June to take a job in Michigan. She probably doesn't truly know how grateful I am to her for all she has done for me during our friendship. At a time when I felt lost and unsure and was hurting, she pulled me up and supported me as best she knew how. She helped me through my darkest moments and made me do things she knew would make me laugh.

K recently had her heart broken and has been struggling to adjust to a difficult new job. She has also had a hard time being away from her friends that have now scattered. I know she will make it through, but really wish I could be there for her in person to help her through these times. She deserves nothing more then to be happy and enjoying life.

She is a special person and I just wanted to give a glimpse of all that is her.