Insomnia

It is Friday night and I can't sleep. This often happens to me. I think I'm tired and go to bed, and then I lay there, things racing through my mind, and I'm suddenly wide awake. I'm very intentional at trying to go to bed the same time as B, mostly because I once read that one of the biggest downfalls couples can have is going to bed at different times. So, no matter what, I go to bed with him...and then wait for him to fall asleep before getting back up (lots of times I hope that I fall asleep too, but it is to no avail).

My dad used to tell me when I couldn't fall asleep that I should get up and write a list about what it was that I was thinking about. I fought doing that for the longest time because that would mean getting up and not getting sleep. But then I realized that lying there thinking of things, I wasn't sleeping either.

Tonight, I couldn't stop thinking of the fact that time goes so fast. Last week at this time I was spending time with two of my best friends, writing my vows, and sleeping in a hotel room. Now, I am sad that my wedding day is over, dealing with the aftermath (long story), and am feeling so sad to know that B goes back to work tomorrow and I start work on Monday. I'm really not looking forward to working again. I really enjoy my time at home with my animals, knowing I can get things done, and knowing that I am home when B gets home. Our schedules will be quite different now, and that is going to take some adjustment. I'll no longer have so much time to grade my papers and sit with the animals. I'm not sure how I'll deal with that quite yet. I think mostly though, I didn't fully think through taking this job, and it may not have been the best choice for me. I'm not really excited about it, and that makes it hard. But, I will have to suck it up for now.

We had really hoped to spend a lot of quality time together this week (we chose not to honeymoon yet with the responsibilities we have with the animals), but things got in the way. We had clean-up on Sunday, had to run around to get my name changed and I had to teach on Monday, spent lots of time trying to get the goats in a pen where they weren't getting out on Tuesday... just stuff. Before we knew it, Friday was here and our time together almost over. Life gets so busy. And if I have heard right, it really only gets worse.

I am working on my post about the wedding. I'm hoping to get it posted in the next few days. I took the week off from blogging, so it will take me a while. I'm also waiting to see if a few more pictures get posted (won't have the ones from the photographer for a bit). I can say I'm enjoying being married. All 7 days. :) I was talking to someone yesterday and said, "My husband," and boy did it feel weird, but also amazing, to say. Even though B and I lived together for a few months before we were married and had joined our lives (financially) when we moved in together, there is just something about looking at the ring on my finger, and knowing that we pledged to support and be with each other in front of friends and family that makes everything so much more special and permanent. I have no idea why.

Ok, I'm going to attempt to grade some papers...hopefully they will help me fall asleep.