...

I've had some trouble the last few days thinking of what to write. I was lucky to have some time the day after Christmas to write a few posts and schedule them...and I guess it was a good thing I did...or my blog would have been rather blank the last few days...

I haven't been much in the mood to post. I found out on Saturday that a good friend of mine's husband committed suicide. I can't go in to all the details out of respect for privacy (not that you would know who they are...but...just in case), but it made me realize how little we sometimes know people and the things they are struggling with in life.

This friend was always very private, and I respected that...in part because I am also very private. I think that is why we always got a long pretty well. We knew we cared what the other was going through, but we never pushed for information, just let each other tell it when we felt like it. I would hardly say we were "close" in the sense that I'd call her when I was in need or vice versa, but I do know that if I ever did call that she would be there for me. We just sort of understood each other, and though we did not "hang out," took an interest in each other's lives and what each was going through.

She is a strong woman. I've found out that she is even stronger then I really knew. She has been through a lot already. In the past, I often admired her for her strength and perseverance. But to be faced with something you weren't prepared for. Didn't have a plan for. She has two young children, whom are now going to be without a father.

I talk a lot about grief in my posts, in part because I am still dealing with my own. In the past, I've said that my dad's death helped me to relate to others who were experiencing grief and loss. I'm starting to think I may have been wrong. I can relate/share my experiences with those who lose a parent. I can understand in a way, and know that nothing I say will make it better and that continuing to hear "It will get better," "He's in a better place," and "I know it hurts," can make you want to scream. But I find myself at a loss with what to say to her. I want to call her and let her know that I am thinking of her, and I'm here for her if she needs someone...for even the smallest of things. But...I'm too chicken. And I don't know why. Is it the fact that I'm scared to hear her voice...to hear pain...to not know what to say after I tell her I'm thinking of her? Is it that I feel my words, no matter what I say, will be small and insignificant to what she is facing? That I will trip and stumble, as I try to get out something meaningful...because I'm more a writer then a talker?

It has been three days since this all happened, and I was one of the first to know. But yet, I am probably one of the last to say anything. I've found myself poised to call, and then don't. At the very least, I want to write her a letter...something I am so much better at doing. But, I don't want her to think I didn't care enough to call.

More later.

Christmas Recap

I will admit, and you could probably tell from my earlier posts, that I was not really in the holiday mood this year. I was struggling with a lot, and trying hard to feel Christmasy, but it wasn't really happening. I was unsure how B and I were going to spend Christmas, and it was my first Christmas spent away from my family.

We spent Christmas Eve with B's family, and ate a wonderful meal (his mom is the best cook) and spent a lot of time laughing and catching up. We opened presents, and watched as our nephew opened tons...as the only little one in the group, he gets spoiled! He got a lot of Thomas the Train toys, and after the presents were all opened, we spent some time playing with them.
After a while, we were all full, and tired, and decided it was time to go home. B and I got a few pictures in front of his mom's tree before we left (we didn't end up putting our own up this year). This is one of them.When we got home, B was excited to open presents. He couldn't wait until Christmas morning. :) So, we opened presents. Here he is opening a present.
I am really good at keeping presents a secret, so he didn't know what he was getting for the most part. He tried VERY hard to keep my presents a secret, but my mom kind of gave them away. I wasn't exactly sure I knew what he got me, but I had a few guesses, and one of them turned out to be right. He actually got my grandmother's paintings framed for me. My grandmother passed away last April...I really miss her...I actually used to spend Christmas with her rather then the rest of my family so she didn't have to be alone on Christmas. She was an artist, and a very good one at that. Over the years she painted some lovely paintings, and I was lucky enough to have a few. I always intended to get them framed, but hadn't gotten around to it. I mentioned to B a few times that we should get it done and put them up in the new house, and he did it for my present. I think it was one of the best presents he could have gotten me. :)

We spent Christmas at the farm...slept in, ate cinnamon roles for breakfast and then went out to do some chores. We spent a lot of time with the animals (here's our Chief)

and then came inside and laid around. We watched a movie, and just spent time together. We hadn't had a whole day to spend together in at least a month, and I really enjoyed it.

So, maybe it wasn't the traditional Christmas, but it was a good Christmas. :)

Saturday Savings!

Well, here it is, my last Saturday Savings post for the month of December. I'll be reviewing my efforts this month after I show you how my shopping trips fared.

I went to CVS early in the week this time, the earliest I've ever gone, Sunday morning when they opened because I wanted to hit the super sale. I was really excited about the Arm and Hammer cleaner pretty much being a freebie. I was sorely disappointed though, as both CVS' in our town were sold out. Apparently, they hadn't had the cleaner for a month or so. Grr. They were sold out of a few items, but between the two stores, I think I did pretty well. I had to really rework my scenarios on the spot, but I did so without having to spend too much out of pocket. Here is what I got:

For all those items, I spent $4.03 Oop. I saved $51.12. Can't be too disappointed with that. I also earned over $24 in ECBs when I used $20. So, In all, I came out on top I think. I'm hopeful they will have the Arm and Hammer cleaner on sale again in the not too distant future. I'd like to stock up on it!

At Walmart I bought:

for $5.21. I saved $8.24. I was glad to be able to use some of my coupons before they expired on good candy deals (yay after Christmas sales!).

And finally at Kroger I got:

for $47.74. I saved $22.06. Obviously I didn't save as much this week as I did other weeks. There are a few reasons. The first is that there was not much on sale this week that corresponded with other good deals. The second is that we didn't NEED a lot of items this week. I decided, that since I still had room in our budget, that I would buy items that I typically buy in order to stock up on them (such as the pizza...we normally eat one a week, so I buy one every week, but now we have three stocked in our freezer...that is over $3 saved for the next three weeks). Hopefully, that will help me to stay within/under budget in the coming weeks.

So, my total for the week is $56.98. In total, I saved $81.42. I don't think I can complain about that!

At the beginning of the month, I set a goal of keeping within a $300 grocery budget. This was the first month I have ever budgeted for groceries, but do know in the past that I was spending over $100 a week on groceries (not keeping track of sales or couponing). I came in well under my budget, spending only $227.13 in all this month. I saved a total of $250.55!!!

Next month, I am going to lower my budget to $250. My goal is to eventually spend $200 and under, and while I spent less then $250 this month, I am still working on things, and would like to give myself a bit of leeway still. I think I can cut back on some of the cleaning supplies (although I find it hard when I am finding things for free or next to free) , and since we are well stocked up on meat, I probably won't have to buy as much, which should help keep the grocery bill lower.

Happy shopping everyone!

Dear Mr. Weatherman,

Hi. It's me, Wolf. I was just writing to remind you that it is winter time...you know, a time when it is supposed to be cold, and there is supposed to be snow and the ground is supposed to be frozen. Now I know in the past, I have not always been the biggest fan of Winter, and have actually asked for warmer weather to come more quickly and for it not to be so cold my nose hair freezes. But, I can't help but wonder why this year you have decided to overwhelm us with rain.

There has been so much rain this last month that our yard can't handle anymore water and has puddles everywhere. It is muddy everywhere! We had to get more gravel put down on the driveway, and the dogs have been tearing up the lawn...and the horses the pasture. We actually have to wipe the dogs feet every time they come in the house, or else they track mud all the way up the stairs! I'm actually worried we might have a flood in December and that would be something!

Is it to much to ask Mr. Weatherman, to let the ground freeze, as it is supposed to do in winter? To stop with the 50-60 degree weather that is supposed to start in March, and let the ground soak up all this precipitation? I would really appreciate it as B and I have a lot of stuff we'd like to do...and this rain and mud is not making it very easy.

Thank you so much,

Wolf

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

We truly hope you have a wonderful day.

Maggie

This is our kitten Maggie. She is about 7 months old right now...but she doesn't look it at all. She is quite small. B and I sort of inherited her when we moved in to our house last May...the barn cats had kittens and we probably found her and her siblings when they were about a week old, if that. We had to put Maggie and her siblings on a foster mom because their mom was not human friendly. Our hope was to adopt them out to new homes, and for that to happen, we needed them to be friendly and raised with human contact (somehow, none of them got adopted out...figures, right?). Maggie is a special little kitty. Very loving, and always wants to be on people if she can. She just can't seem to get enough attention. One of the quirky things about her is that she will just plop down in the middle of the floor and sleep. Doesn't matter if she is in the midst of everything, if that is where she wants to be, that is where she will sleep, and you have to go around her.

As a baby, Maggie always had a grouchy look on her face. Made me laugh. She was almost impossible to litter box train. The last of all the kittens...she was probably a month behind them. She loved to go to the bathroom anywhere near the litter box, and would hop right out of the litter box if you put her in it...only to walk a few steps and poop on the floor.

When all the other kittens got sick (as seemed to happen a lot...maybe since they were born barn kittens?), Maggie somehow stayed healthy, until the last wave of cold hit. She was hit the worst of all of them. We finally knocked it out of her with meds, but it came back again...and it seems we just can't get it to go away. She has had almost non-stop runs since she was young, and despite numerous trips to the vet, they can't tell us what is wrong, or what will fix it. She has the sneezes, and is very thin. After some research, I have decided to try my own experiment, and I am hoping that it will work.

I have moved Maggie upstairs, to our bathroom...separated from the other cats (we don't allow them in our bedroom/bathroom typically...we'd probably never get any sleep!). I figure our downstairs is too cold for her to get healthy...her body just isn't fat enough to keep her warm (and we don't run the heat downstairs unless we are down there...until we figure out a more affordable way to heat the area...which means it is quite cold most places in the house with the exception of our bedroom/bathroom at the moment), I have started her on the cold meds AGAIN, and am feeding her dry tuna, which I hope will fatten her up and take care of the runs, which can be from so many things (I read on many sites that it can be from so many underlying problems...I'm hoping getting rid of the cold will banish the runs...or maybe the change in diet?). So, I'm giving it a week, and will reevaluate after that.

I'll keep you all updated, but would love to hear if you have any suggestions as well, if you've ever had this problem with a kitty before!

Yay, and a little sharing

Well, as of 5:00pm last Friday, I am officially jobless. There is a part of me that is not happy about that...I would like to be bringing in some money, but the larger part of me is glad I no longer have to go to that dreadful place. I will miss the kids. But I will not miss the owners who were not that nice, and felt it was appropriate to cut my hours among other things just because I didn't feel the job was right for me and gave two months notice (I would have been better off giving two weeks notice, would have had more hours then). Pretty much every single one of my co-workers there complained about them daily, and none of them are really happy in their jobs either. They just can't leave...so they stay in a job that does not make them happy. So, I continue my mission to find a job that I can look forward to doing...and will most likely be substituting until then (if I can figure out how to get the dang application).

The last few nights, I have been having a horrible time trying to sleep. I have been dead tired. And I mean that. My eyelids are heavy and my body exhausted, but my mind races and my heart does too. I don't know what is wrong with me. I spend about an hour to an hour and a half in bed before I finally get up because I can't stand lying in bed tossing and turning when I can at least be doing something else. Not to mention, I don't always like where my mind goes when I have unlimited time to think. So, I get up, do some stuff, feel sooo exhausted there is no way I can't fall asleep, and go to bed. But I make myself get up early anyway because I don't want to get in the habit of sleeping in. So, I'm not getting much sleep. I have an inkling what is wrong...but I'll share that at a later point.

With my bit of spare time, I've been going through some stuff. I went through a box today of my dad's papers for the farm to try and get rid of stuff I'd no longer need. I came across this:


Please click on the picture to enlarge it so you can read it. He pretty much dictated this to a family friend before he passed away. I think it says a lot about him, and about why my love for the farm was always so strong. I also think it is very fitting for the season considering Christmas trees are in a lot of people's homes right now.

Hope the last few days before Christmas aren't too stressful for everyone!

7 Random Facts

Kristen at Something About Nothin tagged me a while back to share 7 Random Facts about myself, and I figured I better get around to it before it's too late! :)

Sooo, here goes:

1) I got a teddy bear when I was about 7-8 and I still have him today. He has traveled all over the world with me...Germany, Russia, Hawaii...and he has is...worn enough to show it. His name is Ted E. Bear. E is for Edward.
2) I have a tendency to end up with black animals. I will admit I like black animals, but I haven't always planned it that way. I currently have 3 black cats and 6 black dogs. It is likely that 2 of our horses will end up black as well. I guess it is good I like them though because it seems they are the least likely to get adopted (I guess people think they are mean?).
3) I went to George Mason University for my undergrad...I don't know if I would go back. I hated living in such a huge city. I do not like to sit in traffic.
4) When I was little I used to stare at the moon when we would travel and hope to go there one day. I'd still love to go.
5) One of my life goals is to hike the Appalachian Trail...maybe one day...
6) I am terrible with all types of glasses. My glasses are always scratched and the frames bent. I only get sunglasses from the dollar store because I don't want to pay to break glasses anymore.
7) I took swimming lessons when I was young, and the place I was at really wanted me to be on the swim team. I probably would have done it, except I skated at the time, and the two didn't mix (or at least that is what my coach said).

I'm supposed to tag 7 more people, but I'm just going to let you do it yourself if you want!

Saturday Savings!

Time for the weekly grocery shopping post. I didn't do as well today as I would have liked. Bargains were scarce this week...perhaps because this coming week will have REALLY good sales because it is the holiday week (I know CVS will be having a nice sale tomorrow and Monday). Good news is that I did get to return the deodorant that I made a mistake on last week, so that makes me happy.

Ok, at CVS, I got the following:

for .62. Gotta love tax. I saved $7.39. I earned $4.00 in ECBs after spending only $2.59. Nice thing is that I have $19.98 in ECBs for the huge sale that starts tomorrow. It will be interesting to see what I can find...I still have a hard time buying anything that B and I won't really use. Although we sure have a huge stock of toothpaste now. Hard not to keep buying it when they give you $2.00 in ECBs and you can get the toothpaste for $1.49. I'm able to get it so low by using the coupon found here (and you can print a never ending supply!).

At Walmart I got the following:
for $9.29. I saved $3.75 Of course, the water never helps. I probably could have done without the cleaners, but I needed toilet bowl cleaner and I had a coupon about to expire. And the Resolve is something we use around the house often, and my last coupon for that was about to expire. So, I decided to use them.

Finally, at Kroger I got the following:


for $48.22. I saved $36.58. One thing I was not happy about is the e-coupon I uploaded to my card for the Goody Ouchless didn't work. I lost a dollar there. I got the Cottonelle again for free plus an additional $.50, and there was such a good deal on Chicken that I had to buy more. We should be good on meat for at least the next two weeks, so that will help me stay low on my budget/get more things (as it typically takes up about 30-40% of my budget). I want to know when apples became so expensive?!? $2.29/lb! Good thing I love my husband, or I might not have gotten them. Not a fan of paying so much.

My total for today was $58.13. Not too far over my goal of getting down to $50 a week. But I am still well within my $300 budget for the month. My total savings was $47.72. I almost saved as much as I spent, but not quite. I'm still doing much better then I was!

Happy shopping and let's hope next week brings some great deals (even if there are no coupon inserts in this week's Sunday paper!).

Year in Review

I'm having one of those nights where I am nowhere near tired...and I can't think of what to do with myself. I'd love to start another book, but the ones I can find, are not satisfactory...I started one and couldn't get past the first few pages (very unlike me). Maybe I need a reading break as I return to a world that is not Twilight.

Maybe I should clean since we will be having a dinner guest tomorrow. I prefer to save that for the morning though. So, I guess, I will write my year in review post. A lot of stuff happened this year and my life continues to...make me wonder...is that the right word? I'm not sure. This will probably be long... Anyway, here goes:

January/February - I list these two months together because they were much a blur to me. A hazy time of pain and sadness and I find it hard to distinguish between what happened during what month. A spent these two months in a bout of depression that was scary and very difficult for me to handle. I knew I had been sad and been dealing with many overwhelming things in my life (agreeing to the sale of my beloved farm, working my last time at the lot in December, our contract on the perfect house falling through, and facing a loss of the passion I once felt for my job due to a lack of support during a very rough three months in which students falsely accused me of targeting them in order to get out of suspension - it didn't work at first, but I found out in December that the suspension got overturned by an administrator who never felt it necessary to talk to me and get my side of the story...imagine how it felt to someone who loved her job and always worked hard to do the right thing...) but I did not want to admit to myself that I was depressed and needed help. I spent several weeks sad, on edge, trapped in my head, unable to sleep and barely eating. When all was said and done, I had lost 15 pounds. I knew what was wrong, but to admit it was very hard. I have seen my mom struggle with being bi-polar for much of my life, and I didn't want that to be me. I finally went to the doctor though, and she put me on some medication. The first stuff I tried made me worse...I felt sick to my stomach all the time, my heart would race, and in general it didn't make me feel good. So, I tried something else, and eventually things started to look up. It was a difficult time. I was very glad for people like K, who took care of me and helped me get back on my feet.

March - I turned 26 (yikes, not a fan of birthdays...I liked being in my early 20s!), and B and I finally went under contract on a house. K and I traveled to Atlanta for a conference, and had a lot of fun together, as we always do. It was at this time that I became firm in my decision that I would not return to my job after the end of the school year in June (couldn't anyway if I bought a house, I had to live on-campus to have my job) and while I was glad to have made the decision, it was also sad to commit to leave a field I had spent 7 years of my life doing. It was the absolute right decision for me though, and I've never thought otherwise.

April - After a lot of discussion, B and I decided to add a high-content wolfdog pup to our family. We have both always loved wolves, B has had a mid-content wolfdog for the past 5 years...there is something about them that have always just drawn me to them... So, we traveled 6 hours round trip to pick up Titan, a pup who was 1 generation away from a full wolf. He became the light of our days...a loving little bugger who was always into something. We committed ourselves fully to making sure he was raised the right way...socialized a lot, and experiencing new things. He loved to howl with me. :) Although he took a lot of work, we were dedicated to raising him right (and he fell in love with my chow-mix Jasmine). Shortly after we got him, my grandmother passed away on April 11th. My grandmother was my last remaining grandparent and she passed away at the age of 95. I last saw her on Christmas, as I made the decision not to go see her when she started to fail, for fear of that being my last memory of her...I am still haunted by my memories of my dad's final days, and of my other grandmother's...and although I wish I could have seen her one more time, I'm hoping this decision proves to have been the right one. My grandmother was an amazing woman. She loved her children and grandchildren passionately...and she had the most amazing laugh. I miss her terribly.

May - May brought an onslaught of emotions and experiences. On May 8th, Titan escaped his enclosure and ran out on the road. He was hit by a car...it was dreadful. We believe he was hit during the time we were looking for him. I had never had a pet die that way...I couldn't stop sobbing. I still miss that little booger even though it has been over 6 months. It still brings tears to my eyes to think about him or to even look at his picture. B lost a buddy when Titan passed away...they had a special bond. The day after Titan passed away, I had to go on a White Water Rafting trip as an chaperone. It was difficult to go...but it was a good escape. I had never been white water rafting before, and I absolutely loved it. I was cold the entire time. :) When I returned from the trip, B and I went back up to get another wolf pup...B had told the breeder what had happened, and he offered us another one as he felt it was the only way we would heal...how could we resist when we had wanted a wolf pup so badly? So, we went back up and ended up with Kaos, who is even higher content then Titan was. He is not Titan. But he is our baby. We love him dearly, and we have learned a lot with him. I cannot begin to tell you the joy he has brought us. That same week B and I closed on our house, and got engaged. :) May 16th! It felt so amazing to finally have a place of my own. And to know that someone loved me enough to actually put up with all my craziness and want to marry me!

June - June brought the end of the school year, the end of my job, and moving. It was the month in which I said goodbye to many friends as they moved to different areas, and realized I would no longer be a part of an amazing group of people (my wonderful staff...even though I did not like my job, I loved my staff). It brought a visit from my mom (almost two weeks...that was not easy!), and an insane amount of wedding planning. It brought fishing, and grass mowing and many of my animals together. All the dogs and cats were finally in one place...

July - B's birthday was in July, we spent it at a friend's wedding. We also adopted some horses for the farm, as well as a few goats. We continued our wedding planning...I made the invitations and sent them out. I had my bridal shower back in Delaware, and K flew out to be there with me. It was the first time I had to spend a significant amount of time with many of my family in several years...and so it was a challenge. But I got through. I also binged on books in July. I read an insane amount as I got used to my free time and not having my days planned out. I did however, struggle with what to do with myself and had no motivation to get anything done. I think I just needed a break after a tough year. I also decided to go off my medication in July...I wanted to try and handle things on my own...I don't particularly like anti-depressants...I do not like the way they make you feel. And I felt that since I was no longer stuck in a job I disliked, and was further away from the sadness I had felt in January, that it was time. It seems to have been the right decision.

August - I honestly don't remember much of August. I do believe we started catfishing in August. I'm not the biggest fan. :) I also started this blog in August. My hope in starting the blog was that I would find my love for writing again. I'm still trying to find it. Although I find it somewhat easy to post about my life...I want to WRITE. I want to write stories and compose pieces and I want people to love them and want to read them. I'm still hopeful that I'll get over the writer's block. We also got another wolfdog pup in August. We wanted a friend for Kaos...so we ended up with Cynder. We got Cynder when she was about 6 months...not the ideal time to get a wolfdog if they haven't been appropriately socialized, and she wasn't. In addition, she escaped from us not once (we never thought we'd see her again...it was within the first 24 hours we had her) but twice. We spent several weeks in August trying to catch her, and being very frustrated. It was trying on us emotionally. But we did finally catch her. She is still skittish and scared, but we are still working with her. She has warmed up to me more then B, and I wish we had warmer weather right now so I could spend more time in the kennel with her. I also got thrown from one of the horses in August and wound up with some pretty serious injuries. Twisted my ankle (it still hurts), jammed my back (still going to the chiropractor in hope it will go back to normal), and scraped my arm up. I have a nice scar...and this was all a month before the wedding!

September - Well, hmm. September. :) We spent most of September cleaning up the yard and gardens preparing for our wedding. We got married on September 20th. It was a beautiful day. It defines my September really. I did, however, start teaching a class again with the new school year and also started a new job at a daycare in September...I decided it was time to get out of the house...and I love kids, so I thought it would be perfect. Haha...I was wrong...

October - October was probably one of the most calm months of the year for me. I was saddened by the fact that Teddy, the horse we were fostering was picked up and taken to a new home. On the other hand, B and I made a trip up to the farm and picked up the last of the animals that were up there. So I finally had all of them together. I no longer have to worry about whether they are ok...they are here, and I can go and check on them whenever I want! :)

November - I gave my two MONTHS notice that I was quitting my job on November 1st. The result was that my hours were cut back...in half. I should have given two weeks notice for all that was worth... I decided that working at the daycare was not the place for me. Although I loved the kids, the people I work for are...not the best...and it is an extremely frustrating environment. I continue to look for something new...something that I will look forward to doing...that I am passionate about...that I feel is right for me. It has not been easy. I spent a lot of the month under the weather with a dreaded cold. It SUCKED. The end of the quarter came, and even though I was suprised at the attitudes of my students, I'll probably teach it again next year if I can. B and I celebrated our first Thanksgiving together as a married couple, and it was nice. :) I also started couponing and have become quite addicted...

December - This month has been rather bland. I'm not the biggest fan of holiday shopping, and always had an excuse not to do it before because I was selling trees. Now, I am trying to make it through my first December not being at the lot. It has been both nice (not to have to be outside in the cold and rain) and sad (I miss the people and the smell of the trees). I'm looking forward to my first Christmas in this house with B and spending it with his family. I'm looking forward to the new traditions. I'm looking forward to my last day of work (Friday!) and a short break before I begin substituting.

I guess as I look back on this last year...so much happened. I felt a lot of pain, a lot of hopelessness and also, a lot of joy. This year was a year of change for me. I hope it is not wrong to feel that I hope next year is calmer? I don't want to look back at next year and see so many sad things that happened. Although I struggle some with where life is taking me, I feel that I am also beginning to grow in better ways. I'm starting to move on from things that have haunted me...even though they do sometimes come back and hit me worse. I'm trying to look for the positive things in life, to enjoy them and to enjoy what I have. I have a wonderful, loving husband, a beautiful house and all my furbabies. I have good friends and for the time being, a pretty stable life. I know that not a lot of people have that. I am grateful for what I have.

Here's to hoping that 2009 brings some exciting adventures, and hopefully a new, right job to my life. But mostly, to hoping that my family and friends stay safe and happy.

Twilight

Ok, ok. So, I finally gave in to the whole Twilight phenomenon. I must admit that I went for a LONG time without ever hearing about Twilight or even knowing it was some extremely popular series. I found out about it mostly through Facebook when I got a flair board and I saw all these "Team Edward," "Team Jacob," and "Twlight!" buttons. I asked my friend what it was and she told me it was some young adult vampire romance type thing. Not my typical cup of tea, so I never thought about it again.

Now, I must admit that the bloggy world seems to be full of Twilight-ers. It seems a lot of the people I read loved it and were counting down the days until the movie came out. I asked another friend if he thought I should give it a read and he told me no...that he had heard it was poorly written and didn't have a lot of depth. But around the same time the movie came out, and B wanted to go see it because he loves vampire movies.

I was NOT impressed with the movie. I didn't like the changes made to how we have defined vampires for forever pretty much...and I just felt it lacked a lot of plot and explanation. B was disappointed at the lack of vampire action (guess we should have done more research into it), and on a whole we were both underwhelmed. But, I decided since I had seen the movie, I'd get the book to see if it was any better (and really, we all know that typically books are better then their movie counterparts).

So, I read Twilight. It was definitely better then the movie. But in my opinion, it wasn't AMAZING and didn't capture me the way some books have (you know when you absolutely cannot put the book down at all, and you feel sad when you are done because you have grown so attached to the characters?). I was disappointed with aspects of the book...the editing was atrocious, and there were many parts that were just plain confusing. But, I decided since I started the books, I might as well finish the series.

With each new book, I felt as if the writing got better, even though the editing it seems, did not. I was disappointed that in all, the series covered just about 2 years. I felt it could have been longer, and how much bad stuff can really happen to one girl in that short span of time? I don't understand all the Team Jacob and Team Edward people out there...I felt as if there was never a competition...we always knew where Bella stood...but maybe that is because I had the luxury of reading all of the books at once (and I did read them pretty fast if you think about it...).

Overall, I am glad I read the books. Would I read them again? Probably not...there just isn't anything there that makes me want to go back...everything was wrapped up and so straightforward...it isn't like the Harry Potter series (which I have read numerous times) where every time a new book came out, it answered mysteries from the first book (some of which you didn't even know were mysteries!) so that you could go back and look at the earlier books with a new light.

It seems, as I have done a little online reading about the series, that Stephenie Meyer got a lot of flack for Breaking Dawn. I laugh at that. Was it the perfect book? No. Nothing in the world ever ends as easily as she made it end. But it was her series, her characters, and she wanted them to go a certain way and that is her right. I guess I don't get people who would attack someone for not writing a story the way they wanted it written...if that is the case, write your own dang series. Maybe it is that the series had so many young readers, and they didn't understand the changes and growth the main character went through. Who knows? But still no reason to trash an author.

It wasn't a bad series. I'm glad I read it. I love entering new worlds and meeting new characters. And now I am left wondering what my next book will be since the Twilight series was a part of my life over the last 20 days.

Saturday Savings!

And here is my weekly update on my shopping trips.

I was pretty happy with my trips today. Although CVS didn't have a few of the items I wanted, so that messed up my trip a bit, and left me with less ECBs then I wanted to have. And, I made a boo-boo with an item I was going to send in for a rebate. Turns out I bought the right product, but it didn't have the "Try Me Free" rebate sticker on it. Sigh. Anyway, here are the updates:

At CVS, I bought:
for $.64! And I saved $20.06. This picture is missing a Powerade and one FastBreak as I gave them to B before I drove home. :) I used $15 in ECBs today, and I was planning on earning that many back...but they were out of two of the items I needed, so I had to buy a few fillers, and not to mention, the wrapping paper didn't get me any ECBs. In total though, I earned back $9.59 in ECBs. I'll just have to be more careful next week, as I would like to stay around $20 in ECBs and right now I have $16.57. Hopefully they'll have what I want next week! (It would probably help if I went earlier in the week...)

At Walmart, I bought:

for $11.34. I saved $3.00. However, I will be getting $2.00 back on the cleaner. So, that in essence means I actually saved $5.00. And if I had been paying attention with the deodorant, I would have been getting another $4.94 back. I wonder if WalMart will take the deodorant back? :)

My last stop, Kroger I purchased:

for $55.52, and I saved $50.59!! I got several freebies and items that gave me overage today such as the Sure deodorant, the Cottonelle, the Goodie Ouchless and the Sour Cream. I love freebies. :)

So, despite the fact I made a bit of a mistake with the deodorant (and who knows, maybe I'll try and take it back...) I still saved more then I spent. I spent $67.50 and saved $75.65. I went over the $50 I've been trying to hit each week, but a large part of that is because I purchased Pepsi at Kroger because it was 4/10...that is a rarity around here, and now I won't have to purchase Pepsi for at least another month or so! I am still well within the $300 I have set aside for groceries this month, so I'm pleased with this week.

Happy Shopping!

The Tree Lot

Every year for the past 30-some years my family sold our own Christmas trees on a little lot in Delaware. My dad would spend a week to two weeks up at the farm in the end of November, cutting trees and then bailing them, loading them, driving the 6 hours to Delaware, and unloading them in to trailers at the lot. He was very proud of the freshness of our trees. We were told that some of our trees lasted until Easter (we have to give credit to the people who were keeping these trees too...they must have known exactly what to do!), and we had customers who came every single year.

Helping people find their tree was always an interesting experience. Some people were picky, others were not. Some you could show a tree and that was it. Some you could show a tree, and another and another and another...and another...and guess what? They went back to the first tree they looked at. Others still, would not like anything we had out, and would ask us to look for a tree back in the trailer. Almost every time we had to pull a tree out of the trailer, the person would take it. I always wondered why that was. Did they think it was fresher? They always said it was because we were good at finding exactly what they wanted. But I'm not too sure of that. :)

I loved the way the lot smelled. Nothing beats the smell of fresh Christmas trees in my mind. There are a lot of people nowadays who ask the age old question...should I buy a fake tree or stick with a real tree? I can never argue for a fake tree (goes against my principle!) but I just couldn't see not having the smell of a fresh evergreen at Christmas time. Not only that, but did you know that Christmas trees use more Carbon Dioxide as they grow then regular trees do? So, cutting and re-planting is actually good for the environment...even though a lot of people use the argument that cutting live trees is bad for the environment (it is NOT true).

After my dad passed away, I took over the lot. I ran it myself for 4 years. Long-time customers were surprised that I remembered the trees they always wanted, but I had watched my dad closely the year before (the only year I worked with him the whole month of December), and I am lucky I have a nearly photographic memory. If I didn't know what they wanted, I made sure to take notes so I'd remember the next year. It wasn't always easy running the lot. It could be cold, wet on rainy days, or even boring standing outside for 10-12 hours a day. But I loved the people. I loved finding them the perfect tree, and felt pride at how much they loved our trees. I loved making wreaths for them and hearing their stories about previous trees or why they had loved coming to the lot and talking to my dad. Some said they would never buy a tree elsewhere, and made sure every year it was the same family selling. I loved that the kids would remember Jasmine and ask me where she was because they wanted to play with her.


There was a changing of hands when my dad passed away...a very unexpected one. His death was a shock...he had seemed so healthy and wasn't sick the last time they bought their tree. A lot of our customers cried when they found out he had passed away...they cared about him. But they came to care about me. They had heard stories about me for many years from my dad, and because of that, they felt they knew me. They were happy I continued to sell trees. It was a tradition in their family to come to our lot, just as it was a tradition in mine to sell trees.

This is my first year not being at the lot. Last year was my last. I didn't have the guts to tell our customers we wouldn't be back, even though I knew, because I didn't want to see the sadness on their faces. It was a difficult year for me at tree time last year. I cried a lot after we shut down, knowing I wouldn't see any of those people again. I cried thinking that I probably hadn't sold the best tree to some people, even though that was the tree they wanted...and hated it was the last tree they would get from us, and I cried thinking about the fact that they would show up this year and wonder where we had gone. It was out of my hands though, and no matter how badly I wanted to continue to sell trees...there was no way I could, as our farm was being sold (not by my choice...long story).

It has been a bit of a struggle for me not to be at the lot in Delaware this year. I feel quite a bit of loss. My mom has called me several times to let me know that people have called asking where we were. And it makes me sad.

There is the part of me that knows, that this is probably for the best. I have moved on in my life...I am married now, and spending 6 weeks away from B to sell trees, just isn't really feasible. With our new house and responsibilities, it would also have been very hard to continue my responsibilities at the tree farm had I been able... But, that doesn't always make it any easier. The other part says I could still do it, I would find a way. That part feels it is so ingrained in who I am...that it feels wrong to not be there. It tells me if I had really wanted it...I would have done it. And it hurts.

This year will be the first year in my 26 years that I will have a Christmas tree that is not one of my families. It will be the first time I will go somewhere and pick one out with my husband. The start of something new at the end of something else.

They make me laugh :)

I cooked lunch for the hunters last week, and while they cleaned up most of their plates/meal, they did leave a few items on the table. I went down to the kitchen shortly after they left and found our baby Smoke on the kitchen table. She was on a used paper plate. You can see the spoon that still has jelly on it right beside her. I often wonder what they are thinking sometimes when they find a place to sit. This would definitely not have been my first choice!

Saturday Savings!

Ok, I was bad and didn't do a Saturday Savings post last week. But, I didn't get back from my shopping trip until kinda late and I also bought more then normal because we had visitors so I didn't want to post about it. I didn't do very well last week, although still better then I would have done if I hadn't started paying attention to sales, coupons, etc. One thing I did find success at was CVS, where I bought 2 Colgate toothpastes, deodorant and a package of Twizzlers for $.11! That was exciting. :)

Ok, on to this week. I went to CVS first...not expecting to find much in way of deals because I hadn't seen anything in the paper this week that seemed good. I looked for one item that was supposed to have a peelie on it, and when I found it, no peelie. So, I left. I'm hoping next week will bring some better deals. I have over $22 in ECBs to use! :)

My next stop was Walmart, where I bought this:

for a grand total of $4.62! Had I not bought the $3.48 water, it would have been only a about a dollar. I saved $6.72! Now, if only in the future I can find coupons for Aquafina water...every week I pay more then I want to for it...

My last stop was Kroger. I bought this:

for $45.17. And I saved $39.04! I was quite excited to have saved so much because I was not impressed with Krogers deals this week. Nor have I been happy that there have been like zero coupons in the last 2 Sunday papers. I'm crossing my fingers for some better deals next week. However, I still felt like I did relatively well with my purchases...I even bought a few treats for the dogs (had B1G1 coupons and two $1 off coupons) that I wouldn't normally buy.

I think this week's shopping trip was very successful. I spent $49.79 total on all my groceries for the week (under $50!!! Think I can keep that up?) and saved $45.76. Saved almost as much as I spent again!

I have decided on a grocery budget of $300 for the month. I would eventually like to cut it to $200, but I would like to give myself a little time to work that low since I am still new to the couponing and bargaining and used to spend over $400 a month. I don't want to set myself up to fail!

Hope your shopping trips are a success!

Baby it's Cold Outside...

How do I know it is cold? This is the view from our bedroom window:



Not even technically "winter" yet, and already our pond is freezing over, and collecting snow on top of it to boot! It's on days like these that I want to stay snuggled up in bed with a warm cup of tea and never step foot outside.

Hopefully, you are staying warm wherever you are!

(And yes, I'm already eagerly awaiting the warm weather...I for one, am not a fan of the cold...I love LONG days and no layers of clothing!)

Traditions

As it is the holiday season, one of the things I've been thinking about lately is traditions. Traditions feel and seem so important. But how do I start traditions within my own new family?

Growing up, we did not have many holiday traditions. For a few years of my youth, my mom would take out Christmas decorations such as her Department 56 village, and I loved setting it up. My sister and I also had the annual Christmas card picture posing to look forward to. We actually hated the day my mom took the Christmas picture because it would mean standing in the same position for at least an hour while she tried to get us in the right pose. But looking back on those pictures now, I see how creative she was and how original a lot of those pictures were. We also loved decorating the Christmas tree, and every year we looked forward to unwrapping the different decorations, and trying to find our favorite ones. One of my favorite parts of Christmas morning was opening my stocking, as it was often hidden and my sister and I had to find it. Once we found it, that was the one thing we were allowed to open when my parents weren't with us. So, we often opened them together...very early in the morning. But other then those few things, we didn't do much. And after we found out about Santa Claus, and got involved in skating, and my mom went back to work...we didn't decorate at all. In fact, even the picture Christmas cards stopped. And for a time, so even, did the Christmas tree (which made no sense...since we sold Christmas trees). The only thing that stayed constant was that we would spend Christmas with the family, always going up to my dad's brother's house.

Right now, I am finding myself in an entirely new place in life. This is the first year of my life that the family is not selling trees...which means I actually have to go out looking for a tree...but also that I can decorate my own place for once. The first year I will not be home in Delaware for the month of December, or even for Christmas for that matter. It is the first year that I actually have a house to decorate, and the first year I will spend with my husband...as our own little family.

So what traditions to I want to try and start? What traditions would I eventually like my children to look forward to every holiday season? Every Christmas morning?

I am actually having trouble thinking of many. I do not know what kinds of things to start. I DO know that there are a few that have taken hold of me in one way or another...I have no idea how. I LOVE having Pillsbury cinnamon rolls for breakfast on holiday mornings. Thanksgiving and Christmas especially. They taste yummy, and aren't so filling that you ruin your holiday dinner. I've continued to make them as we've had our first holidays together. I want to decorate the house at some point...probably not too much this year, as we don't have many decorations, but in coming years after we have time to hit sales. I want to go Christmas tree hunting every year on the same weekend, and have fun ornaments to put on our tree. I want to have fun, homemade Christmas picture cards...not the ones that get made at Walmart or other photo places. But ones I put together at home, like my mom and dad and even my grandfather did. But other then that...I can't think of anything else. It is something I will continue to think about this year and in the coming years...and that I hope B contributes to as well. I'd love to carry on traditions that were prevalent in his family.

What traditions did you have in your family during the holiday season that you always looked forward to? I've seen so many as I've blogged...I'd love to know how they got started, and why you love those traditions. What new ones did you start when you began a family of your own? I'd love to hear your stories, as I begin to look for my own.

P.S. We have by the way, at least continued with picture Christmas cards. I do not have the time or ability to put together the kind I would like this year due to many factors, but we did our own. It represents me and B quite well...we love each other and one of the reason we love each other is our ability to be goofy and make each other laugh... :) So, here it is:

Merry SITSmas!

Happy Holidays! I hope you have a wonderful holiday season filled with happiness and time with family and friends! I hope you make many new happy and lasting memories in the new year, just as I have been able to do in the past year. Wolf :)

The pictures are of our Christmas tree last year, and of my favorite memories from this year...our wedding. :)

This post is a part of the SITSmas, found on a wonderful site called SITS. They are hosting SITSmas today and giving away a $200 gift card to Target! So, you should go there and visit! And create a SITSmas post of your own!

I'd like to take a moment to mention a few of the wonderful blogs I've found through SITS...

Beautifully Imperfect - she is insightful, thoughtful and has a wonderful way of writing
YaYa Stuff - Funny and straightforward, I love reading what she has to say!
Grocery Mama - Helped start me on my couponing and frugal ways...
FROGGITY - Just plain fun!
Project Mommyhood - I love her writing and thoughts on life

SITS-mas!

Tomorrow is Merry SITSmas, hosted by the lovely ladies over at SITS!

As a part of the blogathon that is SITSmas, they are giving away prizes every hour, including a grand prize of $200 in the form of a Target gift card!

You should participate. And, visit SITS!